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Sweet dreams are more like a pipe dream when 12 a.m. turns into 2 a.m. — and you still can’t stop worrying about all the work you have to do, the bills you need to pay, the argument you had with your sister, and the feeling that you maybe, probably, definitely are going to die sooner than you should because of lack of sleep.

Experts say almost everyone experiences this kind of middle-of-the-night panic at some point. “The most basic and common reason why we get more anxious at night is because of the decrease in the amount of distraction and activity we have going on,” says Michael G. Wetter, a clinical psychologist and director of psychology in the division of adolescent and young-adult medicine at UCLA Medical Center. “Our mind goes off the road, and there’s nothing to guide us and keep us on track and focused and feeling productive.”

So what should you do about y our racing thoughts at night? Thrash around until the sun comes up? Open your laptop and start chipping away at your to-do list? Or find some way to put those unwanted thoughts to bed?

The last approach is the most promising — but the steps to take aren’t necessarily what you think. (Simply clearing your mind, for instance, isn’t always the right approach, since a busy brain can keep anxiety at bay.)

We asked Wetter and other experts to share their favorite ways to soothe nighttime anxiety.

1. Carve out “worry time”

Before bed, spend five minutes making two lists. On one, write down everything you’re worried about that’s within your control — and on the other, log the things you can’t do anything about. The first will serve as a to-do list for the next day. “You’re telling your brain, ‘Hey, I heard you, and I don’t want these things to be unfinished either,'” says Leah Kaylor, a clinical psychologist and sleep expert. Then, rip up the second list. Once you write your unresolvable worries down, “they’ll leave you alone,” because your brain will be content that the situation has at least been acknowledged.”

2. Tap into your five senses

Keep something textured by your bed, like a smooth stone, that you can touch as soon as you get anxious. Sip on cool water, listen to soft ambient music, or find other ways to ground yourself via your five senses. “For many people, including myself, the sensation of cool bedsheets signals ‘OK, this is the time where I can just melt into this,'” Wetter says. “Sometimes we dismiss the owner of our own sensitivity.” Anchoring yourself in the present moment can pull your mind away from spiraling thoughts, helping you feel at ease.

3. Get out of bed

Staying under the covers can reinforce the association between bed and stress. “If you know you’re not gong to fall asleep in the next 15 to 20 minutes, you should get up,” Kaylor says. Ideally, you’ll relocate to a dim room, since bright lights signal to the brain that it’s time to wake up. Then, do something “very boring,” she advises, like an adult coloring book or folding laundry. Once you feel sleepy, get back in bed. With time, you’ll train yourself that the bedroom is for sleeping only — not a place where anxiety rears its ugly head.

4. Keep a comfort script nearby

If you’re prone to jolting awake in panic, Wetter suggests keeping a calming message or affirmation affixed to your nightstand. It’s another grounding technique that he’s found helps people self-soothe quickly. Your note might say something like “You’ll deal with it tomorrow,” “It’s not as big a deal as you’re making it out to be,” or “Everything is going to be OK.” These mantras “trigger that sense of reasonability, rationality, and calm,” Wetter says.

Reframe how you think about waking up

When you’ve been tossing and turning for hours, you’ll probably become even more anxious over the idea that your exhaustion is going to ruin the next day. Reframe that catastrophic thinking, Wetter urges. The less pressure you put on getting enough rest, the easier it becomes to fall back asleep. “Tell yourself, ‘I’m going to enjoy the moment of calm,'” Wetter says. “‘I’m just going to let my body relax.'”

– A. Haupt