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Here are some funny baseball quotes that made me laugh.

“A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.” – Earl Wilson

“When they start the game, they don’t yell, ‘Work ball.’ They say, ‘Play ball’.” – Willie Stargell, 1981

“When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.” – Woody Allen

“A baseball park is the one place where a man’s wife doesn’t mind his getting excited over somebody else’s curves.” – Brendan Francis

“There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.” – Tallulah Bankhead

“Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It’s the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.” – Dick Gregory

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.” – Harry Caray

“Confucius say: Baseball wrong – man with four balls cannot walk.” – Author Unknown

“With the money I’m making, I should be playing two positions.” – Pete Rose, 1977

“Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren’t we all?” – Vin Scully

“Cricket is baseball on valium.” – Robin Williams

“Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor.” – Abe Lemons

“The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.” – Dizzy Dean

“I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally.” – Rich Donnelly, minor league manager

“Let no one accuse baseball of not being tough on drugs. During his baseball career, Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime suspensions.” – Bill Ferraro, baseball fan.

“I could never play in New York. The first time I came into a game there, I got into the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.” – Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles

“On his own scouting report: “Very deceptive. Slower than he looks.” – Joe Garagiola

“A lot of things run through your head when you’re going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, ‘Should I spike myself?’.” – Lefty Gomez

“Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist.” – Hank Greenwald, on Bruce Sutter